Know Thyself
"How do others perceive me?"
"How do I get to express what I feel about my team mates?"
Well today you would get to know "the good" & "not so good" about yourself!
(--extracts from the mail)
To drive better communication/interaction within our VE team, The communication team decided to have an informal meeting called 'Know Thyself', where each one of us was given a (blank) paper and we have to hang/carry it at our backs and anyone can go write anything they want to any person, be it good or bad. It's back stabbing in the real sense. Good thing, cos a perfect time to tell that asshole/bitch you always thought you would one day. No one is allow to see their placard untill the time is over. So the comments below are something which people, rather my fellow VE teammates perceive or think of who I am. It's orignial, except the one in brackets '( )'

• Easy mode to connect to stock market (oh yeah...stock navigator?)
• Very helpful (meee?)
• Bundle of energy (wish its radioactive)
• Stocks in my mind (no doubt about it)
• Life saver for many (really?)
• Sporting spirit (sports - yes, spirits - no idea)
• Honest to the core (but where is my core?)
• Funny character (never knew that i have a character too)
• You are cool (i guess its the basement's AC effect)
• Nice guy (are you sure?)
• Sports King (sports ofcourse)
• Great attitude (attitude? -born with it)
• Your tips really works (during the bull run)
• Cool dude (again?)
• Riwin the live-wire (should i burn someone?)
• Coolest person I have met (try sleeping with me)
• A cool dude, lacks energy but not enthusiasm (i have to find ways to store the energy above)
• Sleepy (dont disturb the slumber)
• Eccentric (psychotic too)
• Start working in the morning also (i work 8hrs a day)
• The lost world (which part?)
• Don’t smoke (how about dope?)
• Total weirdo (i'm loving it)
• Nice person. Love to share stock tips (it doesn't cost me anything)
• Cool dude (possible, cos the last time i had a fever was more than 5months ago)
• Thanks for all the help and the advice (honing my skills)
• Monkey man (i'm being nice to (y)our ancestors)
• Very helpful, rare species in VE :-) (everyone is a rare species i supposed)
• Interactions is critical (take me out for lunch/coffee)
• An amazing soul (is it some new version of Amazing grace?)
• Stock Trader! How much money you made today? (that's my business)
• Good human being, always help others, very hard working (hardly working?)
• Great spirits, amazing temperament (i see, my spirit has been roaming around)
• Start football again (come to my place or stay back late in the office)

Its interesting to see how people look at you, rather think of you. I was expecting something different, but I guess I have good teammates (is diplomatic the correct word?) and they are nice to a fellow mortal like me. Whatever it might be, the bottom line is, it really doesn't matter much, even if someone calls us a spinless dickhead (i know its spineless), cos we are what we are, as long as we think that's the best for ourselves and let our neighbors live in peace.

Take away: Chocolates for having the maximum number of comments

Permutation and Combination of being Sick

Someone asked me, "You look sick, I mean aren't you keeping well?" I could only reply, "Yes, I'm sick, cos am unwell." Another question, "Why did you visit a doctor? are you unwell or something?" No damn it, I'm a medical sales rep and trying to convince the doc to prescribe his patients on this new self-stimulus condom. Tell me, why would I be in the loo, if I dont feel crappy/pissy, when i'm not a plumber? - I know some people play games there.

You know, you start getting weird and funny questions when you wanted to answer the least. I guess the normality curve of your looks changes as soon as the virus gets into you. But like Blair has a Bush, sickness too has its own pros and cons - these are just a few that comes into my mind at the moment:

• Sneezed 113 times in a single night till the whole tummy aches -- Not a single musquito, cockroach or lizard's dare to be in your room.
• Body temp went up and you flip and turn the entire night trying to get some sleep -- You are the 'Hot Guy' once in a blue moon.
• Covered from head to toe, and more clothes to wash -- You get to used that dusty old winter jacket from your wardrope and look 1.5times your weight and above all save power; in the process, less effect on the Global warming (is it so?)

But, two days in bed was not fun (I wonder what pleasure Kumbhakaran gets for six months) - so you decided its time to teach these viruses a lesson. Take an appointment and time to see a doc. Man what a scene - when you left home, you felt you are the only one who's in such a pathetic state, but when you reach that small chamber, and hundred people waiting to greet you, yes to greet me (at least I can see it in their eyes), you could feel at least 98.4% better - But you are here, see the doc anyways.

Everything's alright, all things are intact, just to be sure get these few tests done and come back with the reports. Few tests are CBC, CNBC, BBC, LST, LFT, LJT, LIFO, FIFO, parasites, termites, urine, X-rays, Ultra-sound... (blood, urine, light, sound, air, insects - anything's left?). Well, like what Lord Tennyson said, "Ours not to make reply, Ours not to reason why, Ours but to do and die (live for me)"

Test reports are out - Doc said that its a foodborne liver infection and here are few things you should avoid in the coming days - booze, smoke, non-veg, outside foods, spicy foods, office foods, stress, chocolates/milk, anything that has fat content in it - you call these, few? Am I not sick enough to be deprived from my normal life? But all I could say was, 'Thank God, I still can have water.'

Few days went into weeks, and months and you are really sick (of your current status) and started getting paranoid on anything that used to be food until a few weeks ago. Then battery of tests, doc's appointments, tablets, capsules - looks like its never going to end... But, sooner or later you learn not to race against time and just go with the flow, then everything's back to normal.

Note: discovery of the season - ULTRA-SOUND is something you see, not something you hear.

Quarter/Mid-Life Crisis

It's been ages that am here - no rhymes or reasons, just dont feel like writing anything. Today isn't special either, except for the fact that I achieved a milestone - another step towards the graveyard, or even better, my retirement is getting closer. This is a fact and no one can deny that - the sad part is that the world expects me to be wiser, but the truth is am getting older; the brighter side is i'm getting closer towards my goal - to see more of the world through my own eyes and experience it through my own life. On a day like this, it makes me ponder and wonder on many things in life - I know the key to life is 'live the moment', but I just can't help without looking back towards the past and start thinking about the future. These are some of the so called "food for thought" stuffs, which I dont expect anyone to agree/disagree or whatever with any of them. That's the beauty with our Mind - it always does what it wants or wishes to do...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college,of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Cheers to life!!!

Jumping and Tumbling along the 'Lunurs

The deep shrill sound of insects and barking of dogs woke me up. I was shocked when I open my eyes to see the three-quarter baked moon staring angrily at me through the hazy dark grey cloud; the cloud that hover the pine trees around like its going to swoop them away. It takes me a good five minutes before I could figure out where exactly I am. It was the sight of the two gigantic black fruit tree and vegetable fruit tree and the bamboo trees that makes me realize that I’m right in the middle of no man’s land. It’s the no man’s land which separates the garden of our neighbor and ours – it’s next to the cowshed, to be specific. I tried hard to think and reason out about what has brought me to this place, my brain’s stopped as fear has overtaken me, and like any smart eight year old kid I cover my face and went off to sleep again.

A tap on my body woke me up again and slowly open the blanket off my face and even a bigger shock when I notice a figure with long hair, dressed in black and white stripes cloak was standing right above my head with a little girl next to her. “Nah”, she said, out of fear, I tried to pull back the blanket to cover my face. “NAH”, she shouted, “wake up.” I woke up and to my surprise it was Mom. “Go and call Daddy from the shop, BD is not well.” Then I realized the little girl is my cousin. I jumped out “what time is it?” I asked, “It’s around 4.00AM”, mom said. “I wont sleep in this place again mom”, “why on earth did you sleep here in the first place?” she asked.
“Should I go right away?” I asked. “No, come home first, I will give you the knife for yourself, also you will need the cloth to wrap your hands to hold that knife”, mom said.
“Do I have to walk through that path where there are those scary thorny jungles, with a chance of meeting some blood hunters or run through the garden and climb the bamboo fences?” I asked again, “Which ever you prefer.” Mom answered.

After running for a while, I landed next to the old school compound which has been decorated for the sports day in a few hours time. I took a round of the building just to have a full glimpse of (what’s going to be) the grand occasion. Suddenly I came across a huge cylindrical object lying on the floor and it interested me. “Can I go inside”, I asked the guy standing next. “Hmmm…” he stammered, and I couldn’t hear what he said, as I was already in.

I lift, flip and turn everything that I could inside. As I move towards the other opening, I heard a loud cheer of boys and girls playing outside. I came out, “What is this?” I asked the guy standing next to it again (not sure if it’s the same guy). “It’s the tail of a plane and they call it the Helicopter”, he said. “Uhuh…” I replied, pretending that I’m acknowledging him. And the guy keeps going about the Helicopter thing, in the mean while I keep watching at the kids wearing different colors of paper hats. They keep playing among themselves and some were dancing to the loud music coming from the loud speakers tied on top of trees across different corner of the fields.

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice then I saw my sweet little BD jumping around with Dad in a sloppy field in one of the corners. I ran to them so fast that I almost tumble along the way. “Where’s Dihe?” I asked, while panting like a dog. “At home”, BD replied, with the ‘do not disturb tone’.
Immediately I jumped in and started moving and jumping up and down the slope. “Where have you been?” BD asked. “Up there”, I replied without looking at her as I was busy gyrating my body to the loud music.
Like any three year old kid, BD comes with hundred sensible questions, “Where were you last night?” she asked, without looking at me. “Sleeping”, I replied.
Before Dad gets the attention, I took her hand and run up and down the slope and tumbling along the way with dad catching her down below. We kept repeating again and again and again and for the moment I forgot about everything and just want to keep jumping and tumbling along those ‘Lunurs…